We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.

I got this on the internet.  Thought everybody could use a laugh.  Which is your favorite?

 

 

Investment Humor....
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations later this year:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa ..

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW! And finally...

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:TittyTittyBangBang

 

 

 

-------cat

New postings on an old blog should be a big deal. They should be a “Ta..dah!” moment. But I am so, not a special occasion person. Beginnings and endings leave me scurrying for a place to hide until all the “to do” is done.

I am more of a “drop me in the middle” type person. Then we pretend all the special stuff happened so long ago no one can remember.

Last week a patient of mine came to my door as a Jehovah’s Witness representative. My husband answered the door. My husband does not have the ability to know how to shorten their stay. He is pleasant, reads all their literature and never says no to any future visits.

I really find the aggressive religious outreach very annoying. It doesn’t matter whether it is the Jehovah’s Witness, Mormon’s or any other group. They are pushing their beliefs into my home. So I am not very welcoming when they come to my door. But since this particular encounter involved a patient of mine, I would have probably had to be nicer than usual.

When the patient found out (from my husband of course) that it was my home she was overjoyed. So overjoyed, in fact, that it made her religious zeal that much more abundant. She left an extra helping of her religious reading just for me. Oh joy. You know the literature with the bright primary colors that looks like a kiddie comic.

She also mentioned to my husband she had an upcoming appointment in my office.

This poses a problem. She will obviously mention during her visit coming to my house and meeting my husband. Will she also have expected me to have read all her literature? Will we in fact have a “come to Jesus meeting” in the office?

I don’t go to church. I went when my daughter was growing up. I thought maybe learning about love and compassion was probably a good thing for her, so I did the church thing. The daughter is now in college and I just don’t go anymore. I don’t expect to ever do the church thing again unless daughter get married or someone dies.

You see, I have no religious feeling. Not that I haven’t tried. I've studied many of the world’s religions and in some cases even test drove them. But God and I have never talked. So I have no particular feelings toward religion.

I have had friends suggest that I have made a false idol of man which obstructs my path to the one true lord. Well I do believe in the ability of people to plumb their depths and persevere. However I also realize that people can and often do act like the most despicable of creatures at time. So no false idol there for me.

Many of my friends hold that they have a special relationship with God. I am truly happy for them but not envious at all.

So what shall I say if my patient begins to talk religion? Hopefully she won’t, hopefully she will realize that it would be an inappropriate thing to do on a medical visit.

But if she does, will I be honest about my lack of faith or simply go with the flow and nod my head with all her preaching?

OK…..Here goes……TA…DAH!

There are you happy?

Sorry but I had to delete the story below.  It has to do with first serial rights or something.  I did finish the story and shined, shined, shined it.  Gave it to the horror group to review.  With some minor changes here and they they loved it.  Who would have thunk it?

 

Someone's talking with me now about publishing this story.  Again, who would have thunk it?  All in all however, I really don't think Horror is my genre of choice.  But it was a fun exercise.

 

----cat

Hello,

 

Feels funny to be back here.  It's been quite a while.  I've been busy, as I'm sure all of you have.  Work this time of year is particularly crazy.  Also been taking some writing classes and writing some stories.  Below are some links showing a magazine with my first story published, ever!  The first picture is a cover of the limited edition.  The second and third pictures are of the regular copy which I think will be up on Amazon sometime soon.  I'm not sure why they have a limited edition and non-limited edition.  Must be something advantageous the publishers came up with.  Many of the writers in this issue have written horror stories.  There are some non-horror stories and some really fine poetry.  Mine is a humorous bit.  All the writers in this magazine are really top-notch.  Because of that, I can't figure out how I got in this.  My husband says I'm the comic relief.

Well that's ok.  A girls got to start somewhere!

 

 

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y104/pirateannie/template.jpg

 

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y104/pirateannie/REMIX.jpg

 

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y104/pirateannie/backremix.jpg

 

 

I've been hanging out with some mystery and horror writers who are trying to show me the ropes of this genre.

I've been assigned to write a horror type story.  Below is what I've completed on my assignment.  The story has three parts but I've only finished the 2nd and third parts.  Still need to write the first part.  But I've looked at this too much and need to take a break from it.  When I come back to it, hopefully it will be with new eyes.

 

If you wish to read it cool.  If you want to say it's awful, that's cool too.  Just tell me why you think that way. 

 

Oh, btw, this story is full of gratuitous sex and violence.  If you don't care for stuff like that you might not want to read.

 

I'm pretty sure when I submit this to my writer friends they will shred it into tiny little pieces.  But that's ok.  They are always so polite when they do it.  I hardly feel the dagger wounds at all anymore. 

 

Well that's it for me.  Weird to be back.  Will spend my evening in reading everybody's blogs.

 

 

--cat